How many times have you asked or been asked this question? I know I have asked it many times over the last several decades. On a birthday, father’s day, or any milestone over the last 16 years, I often wish my Dad were here for me to once again ask him what HE wants.
When I was younger my Mom got an answer to that question and even helped me fulfill his wish. As I began to take responsibility for my own life and relationships I still asked my Mom the question but I invested time and money into securing and giving the gift. Today I can only recall a handful of the gifts that I gave him.
Incredibly, after sixteen years without my hero, my friend, and my Dad on this earth I know that today my gifts would be quite different. As a Dad of five wonderful adult children I know that I would try harder to give him the greatest gift that I could give. The same gift he taught me to give my children as often as possible.
How do I know that it’s the greatest gift? Simply, because it is a gift that cannot be duplicated, it cannot be given by anyone else, and once it’s given that same gift can never be given again.
You may be thinking this gift is unconditional love and you would be partially correct. We ALL need to love the family that God gave us unconditionally and make sure that they know it. Almost every time I talk with my kids (or any family member) I end the conversation with “I love you” and I mean it with all of my heart and soul. Almost always I get an “I love you too” in response.
This response assures me that I am also blessed with unconditional love from my family. How can I be sure they love me unconditionally? Primarily because over the last three decades of being a Dad I have always believed that a significant part of my job description was to embarrass them as often and completely as possible. So, if after being embarrassed and annoyed for their entire lives, they still profess their love for me on a regular basis then I assume their love must be unconditional.
Being as flawed and imperfect as I am if all I ever had was their unconditional love I would feel blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve. But NOW their love for me demands that I answer that question I asked of MY Mom for over six decades. MY five adult children are asking, “What does Dad want?”
My usual reply which was the same response my Mom got from my Dad and I’m sure is the response that most Dads give is, “I don’t need anything.” Which gets the reply “we didn’t ask what you need, what do you want?” This dance continues until I think of something that I would use and wouldn’t burden their finances or they get creative and roll the dice. Regardless, of what gift they decide on, the greatest gift is always there.
So, this year I have decided to reveal what I (and I would submit most Dads) want. What I want in my opinion is the greatest gift of all! It can’t be found by going to the department, electronics, or sporting goods stores (although I like nice clothes, technology and sports). Nor can my gift be found by watching TV commercials or searching the Internet. In fact, the gift I want cannot be bought from a third party. Okay, so what IS this greatest gift that I want?
It’s TIME!
If you’re a parent with younger children and your family is geographically close, you might not understand the importance I place on this gift from my family. When my children were younger, that was supposed to be MY gift to THEM. Right? Weren’t we taught that the answer to the question, “How do your children spell love?” was “T-I-M-E?” This had to be taught primarily because they were always around ready to take whatever time I could carve out of my busy, cluttered life.
As my children became more independent I learned that any difficulty I had in finding that gift to give MY children was rooted directly in the quantity, size and expense of the other “gifts” and “luxuries” that I wanted to give them – a bigger house, nicer cars, more expensive toys and stuff all around.
Finally, ten years ago I realized that life and happiness wasn’t about the “stuff” that I was conditioned to believe I needed to provide for my family (or myself for that matter). Realizing it wouldn’t be long before my captive audience would be gone, I retired from that vicious pursuit of more, bigger and better stuff. I decided that I wanted to “make a difference” primarily in the lives of my children but also in the lives of my entire family and others God brought into my life.
Unfortunately, it has still taken me too many Special Days (birthdays, Father’s Days, etc.) to realize that what a Dad (or any parent) wants from their adult children is that same “love spelled T-I-M-E.”
Recently, I had the opportunity to celebrate a milestone in the life of my granddaughter with my wife and all of my children. That time is now one of the greatest gifts I have received this year if not my life. Major events like that come to mind quickly now. Trips to Disneyland, Seattle, road trips to bring children home, vacations, special movie dates, and weekend visits all jump out.
So what does Dad want?
First, I want my children to learn now what it took me almost five decades to learn. Life isn’t about “the stuff” but it IS about THE TIME! Today, I often say, “Bill Gates can’t buy yesterday!”
My gift doesn’t have to be a big, expensive event or block of time. Don’t misunderstand. I love these gifts! But, my gift can come in smaller less expensive (but no less valuable) packages as well and you don’t have to wait for a special day to give them! A phone call to check in, a visit, an email, text, post, share, or any intentional commitment of time are ALL gifts that I cherish and will cherish beyond measure!
So what does Dad want? Give me a call, stop by, send me a picture, video, text, email or post on my social sites and share your life and dreams, have the best life you can imagine and those gifts will give me more joy than you will ever know.
What Does Dad Want?
Nothing! (Except the Most Precious Gift Ever)
How many times have you asked or been asked this question? I know I have asked it many times over the last several decades. On a birthday, father’s day, or any milestone over the last 16 years, I often wish my Dad were here for me to once again ask him what HE wants.
When I was younger my Mom got an answer to that question and even helped me fulfill his wish. As I began to take responsibility for my own life and relationships I still asked my Mom the question but I invested time and money into securing and giving the gift. Today I can only recall a handful of the gifts that I gave him.
Incredibly, after sixteen years without my hero, my friend, and my Dad on this earth I know that today my gifts would be quite different. As a Dad of five wonderful adult children I know that I would try harder to give him the greatest gift that I could give. The same gift he taught me to give my children as often as possible.
How do I know that it’s the greatest gift? Simply, because it is a gift that cannot be duplicated, it cannot be given by anyone else, and once it’s given that same gift can never be given again.
You may be thinking this gift is unconditional love and you would be partially correct. We ALL need to love the family that God gave us unconditionally and make sure that they know it. Almost every time I talk with my kids (or any family member) I end the conversation with “I love you” and I mean it with all of my heart and soul. Almost always I get an “I love you too” in response.
This response assures me that I am also blessed with unconditional love from my family. How can I be sure they love me unconditionally? Primarily because over the last three decades of being a Dad I have always believed that a significant part of my job description was to embarrass them as often and completely as possible. So, if after being embarrassed and annoyed for their entire lives, they still profess their love for me on a regular basis then I assume their love must be unconditional.
Being as flawed and imperfect as I am if all I ever had was their unconditional love I would feel blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve. But NOW their love for me demands that I answer that question I asked of MY Mom for over six decades. MY five adult children are asking, “What does Dad want?”
My usual reply which was the same response my Mom got from my Dad and I’m sure is the response that most Dads give is, “I don’t need anything.” Which gets the reply “we didn’t ask what you need, what do you want?” This dance continues until I think of something that I would use and wouldn’t burden their finances or they get creative and roll the dice. Regardless, of what gift they decide on, the greatest gift is always there.
So, this year I have decided to reveal what I (and I would submit most Dads) want. What I want in my opinion is the greatest gift of all! It can’t be found by going to the department, electronics, or sporting goods stores (although I like nice clothes, technology and sports). Nor can my gift be found by watching TV commercials or searching the Internet. In fact, the gift I want cannot be bought from a third party. Okay, so what IS this greatest gift that I want?
It’s TIME!
If you’re a parent with younger children and your family is geographically close, you might not understand the importance I place on this gift from my family. When my children were younger, that was supposed to be MY gift to THEM. Right? Weren’t we taught that the answer to the question, “How do your children spell love?” was “T-I-M-E?” This had to be taught primarily because they were always around ready to take whatever time I could carve out of my busy, cluttered life.
As my children became more independent I learned that any difficulty I had in finding that gift to give MY children was rooted directly in the quantity, size and expense of the other “gifts” and “luxuries” that I wanted to give them – a bigger house, nicer cars, more expensive toys and stuff all around.
Finally, ten years ago I realized that life and happiness wasn’t about the “stuff” that I was conditioned to believe I needed to provide for my family (or myself for that matter). Realizing it wouldn’t be long before my captive audience would be gone, I retired from that vicious pursuit of more, bigger and better stuff. I decided that I wanted to “make a difference” primarily in the lives of my children but also in the lives of my entire family and others God brought into my life.
Unfortunately, it has still taken me too many Special Days (birthdays, Father’s Days, etc.) to realize that what a Dad (or any parent) wants from their adult children is that same “love spelled T-I-M-E.”
Recently, I had the opportunity to celebrate a milestone in the life of my granddaughter with my wife and all of my children. That time is now one of the greatest gifts I have received this year if not my life. Major events like that come to mind quickly now. Trips to Disneyland, Seattle, road trips to bring children home, vacations, special movie dates, and weekend visits all jump out.
So what does Dad want?
First, I want my children to learn now what it took me almost five decades to learn. Life isn’t about “the stuff” but it IS about THE TIME! Today, I often say, “Bill Gates can’t buy yesterday!”
My gift doesn’t have to be a big, expensive event or block of time. Don’t misunderstand. I love these gifts! But, my gift can come in smaller less expensive (but no less valuable) packages as well and you don’t have to wait for a special day to give them! A phone call to check in, a visit, an email, text, post, share, or any intentional commitment of time are ALL gifts that I cherish and will cherish beyond measure!
So what does Dad want? Give me a call, stop by, send me a picture, video, text, email or post on my social sites and share your life and dreams, have the best life you can imagine and those gifts will give me more joy than you will ever know.
So now you know what Dad wants!
Love,
Dad